Some reflections on the case of the mother from Vigo for whom three years in prison and three years plus nine months of restraining order from her son are being sought
Schools are key in the prevention of child abuse which usually occurs when the student presents behavioral difficulties and in the school learning.
I take advantage of the Vigo caseand the sentence of three years in prison and three years and nine months with a restraining order for the mother, who has been abusing her son since 2018. I will not go into whether the imposed sentence is excessive or not. This is for the judge to decide, and it is very likely that the sentence is entirely in accordance with the law. I do, however, intend to briefly explain what I myself have experienced in my practice in situations where children have difficulties with academic performance, the different parents' reactions and the role of teachers in prevention of situations of abuse like the one published Europa Press.
Student
Many educators maintain that we all have the same abilities. Academic results depend on student motivation and teachers' teaching skills to achieve acceptable academic outcomes. No one talks about disability anymore, but rather about diversity. If we adapt the curriculum to this diversity, all students would achieve the objectives. These arguments are, quite simply, a lie, and the first victims of this lie are the students themselves.
- There are students with different cognitive abilities which initially affect performance and, subsequently, the degree of motivation, producing the vicious circle: self-awareness of the difficulty in learning -> low self-esteem -> greater difficulty in learning -> feeling of incapacity.
Here we're talking about the natural variation that exists among students, without being able to speak of specific difficulties. A student with an IQ (Intelligence Quotient) of 110 will not perform academically the same as one with an IQ of 120.
- There are students with specific developmental disordersThese are specific difficulties (with reading, writing, oral language, motor coordination, mixed difficulties, etc.) that must be detected early in order to implement the appropriate psychoeducational support. Students with specific learning disorders, They will not perform as well as those who do not present them and run a high risk of school failureSome of them, depending on how the family and school environment responds, and their own temperament, may even exhibit generalized behavioral problems, limited to family or school environment.
The
For years I have carried out a "parenting school" of children with behavioral and/or learning problems. We encounter parents who find it extremely difficult to accept their children's difficulties, reducing everything to a matter of motivation, or even to the incompetence of teachers "who don't understand their child." This type of parent is prone to punishing the child or attacking the teachers, depending on where they perceive the problem.
Others, on the contrary, are dangerously negligent. They often show little interest, if not outright mention that their experiences are a reflection of what happened to them when they were students.
Among parents of the first type, it is not uncommon for them to resort to punishment, sometimes even physical punishment, in the mistaken belief that it will be effective. This is the typical maxim applied by parents that «Spare the rod and spoil the child.«.
Some parents are quite prone to comparing their children to their peers and cannot stand it when their child does not perform well academically, at least. «like the neighbor's«It represents a painful wound to his narcissism and its competence as parents , leading to aggressive behaviors such as those described in the mother from Vigo.
Some parents become aware of their child's difficulties, accept them, and try to help them as much as they can, with professional support if needed. I assure you, this is the right path. Love, understanding, and continuous support are the best tools for maintaining a bond that provides security and motivation to face challenges.
Finally, especially in these times, we can find parents who place all their hopes in the miracle pill that they've been sold, whether by teachers, neighbors, or doctors. The frustration is enormous when reality forces us to confront the same old problems once again. Medication, while it improves some issues, and not always, leaves cognitive abilities unchanged.
The school
Teachers are not only best positioned to detect early learning and behavioral problems in students, but it is also their responsibility to ensure that students do not feel discriminated against compared to their peers. They are the natural mediators between students and their parents. Therefore, they must carefully consider how they communicate information to parents so that they can collaborate effectively with the school.
I have encountered teachers who, without further ado, label low-achieving students as absent-minded, lazy, useless, shameless, leaving it at the back of the class like a useless object, and without considering the humiliation this measure represents for the student self-esteemOf course, if that's what the teacher thinks, that's what he tells the parents. He's the typical teacher who, when you talk to him about "specific disorders", such as ADHD, childhood depression, or any other circumstance that affects school learning, responds to parents that "He doesn't believe in those things."
There are teachers who are keeping an eye on the academic evolution of their students, they are concerned about improving their performance, they give guidance to the parents and, when expectations are not met, they try, in collaboration with the parents, to achieve as much as possible without pressure, with positive messages, without discrimination and by changing the teaching procedures.
In this last situation we can find two fundamental situations: those teachers supported by school guidance teams y those who do not have this resource. In Andalusia, it is common for each school to be assigned to a psycho-pedagogical team. When teachers identify a case, they should seek guidance from the professionals on these teams, who, in turn, develop an action plan based on the student's specific difficulties. The usual problem here is a lack of resources, both for the guidance teams and for the teachers.
In both situations, working with parents is essential. Not all parents are equally cooperative, nor are they all willing to admit that their children's difficulties go beyond misbehavior or mere whims. Therefore, when teacher intervention is insufficient, attending parent support groups is recommended, where parents can acquire the necessary knowledge to use techniques other than punishment.
Questions soabout the case of Vigo
Physical punishment began in 2018. Was the student assessed and diagnosed to correctly identify the origin of their misbehavior and poor performance?
- If that were the case, was that mother properly informed about it and directed to where she could receive help?
- Regardless of the measures taken in the school setting, was the possibility of requesting additional help from health services considered?
- Did the judge consider these circumstances? I mean, the support provided to the mother and the school's obligations. I'm not fully aware of the circumstances surrounding this case, but in a case of such severe abuse that has persisted since 2018, evidenced by academic failure and behavioral problems, simply punishing the mother isn't enough. Many factors are involved, each with its own degree of responsibility.
- And finally, have the potential consequences for the son been considered: three years in prison and three years and nine months with a restraining order? Justice is not driven by emotions; parents and children are. Even if it seems otherwise here.
